Have fun – it’s the “Prime Directive” of playing games with kids. But play a few rounds, or hands, or matches, and you’ll soon run into a key dilemma for adults: how much effort do you put into winning? Win too often and frustration can result, removing the child’s enjoyment of the game. But win too little and you’re setting them up for future letdowns with the expectation that they be victorious every time, no matter what.
Some people possess an innate, almost pathological, desire to best others at whatever they choose to do. I’d imagine Michael Jordan doesn’t worry about when to let his kids win. I’ve never been that competitive. Win some, lose some…it was all the same to me.
But teaching Lauren and Amelia how to win with respect, and how to react appropriately when they don’t, has been a unique challenge. They don’t always understand that the end of a game isn’t permanent, and that losing once doesn’t mean defeat forever. We try and strike a balance by celebrating the winner, and reminding the other of past games they’ve won (like the time Amelia stole ALL my cards in Go Fish).
This is a good lesson for grown-ups, too. Failure need not be permanent. It’s become a cliché that you don’t fail unless you give up – but for kids, these concepts are still new. Celebrating the accomplishment of others while preparing yourself to do better next time can be a great lesson in empathy and perseverance.
So long as you don’t mind having your Fish stolen. J
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